For the disturbed creeps in all of us

The Shark recommended I watch this show. He was right. I loved it. Dexter proved to be deliciously indulgent. It's not for the squeamish. You'd have to enjoy dark, gory stories of murder, torture and revenge. And a series about a vigilante serial killer is right up my alley. Throw in a little trauma and mental illness and I'm already cooking up a batch of popcorn.

I believe there is a little bit of a sociopath in all of us. Some have a better rein over their dark desires. Some don't. People, it's ok to find a coping mechanism and give in once in a while. This is why you don't hear about me in the news. ha!

Just another wet and dreary Friday

Fucking hell. Now I remember why I took a lot of Fridays off this summer. It's my first Friday back in a couple months. The timing isn't bad seeing as it's in the low 60's and wet outside. But despite having managed to allocate my time wisely, I am still ready to set my hair on fire. Some memorable highlights of the day:

9am trip to the cafe next door for a soy vanilla chai tea latte.

11:30 am trip to Wasabee for sushi with Rupinder (I managed to stretch my 30-minute lunch to three times the length. What can I say, driving time adds up. haha!)

2pm trip to the three other buildings where the company has set up temporary work sites while a permanent plan is put in place. I was there as the unofficial Compliance representative making sure the HR posted the current edition of the required Labor Law posters. I love that Girlfriend JJ works in HR and is keenly aware of the need to involve auditors.

3pm trip to Sane Ex-Coworker's cube to observe visiting agent trainee's shoes. They were patent, taxicab yellow, open-toed platforms. It made for a good show. She juggled smoking a cigarette, talking on her cellphone and holding down her skirt so she wouldn't flash the entire northeast wing of the building, along with the golfing range and the daycare facility next door.

All in all, I think I spent a total of 4.5 (out of a regular 8 hour day) hours at my cube. How many of those hours did I spend being productive? Well, a lady should never tell.

It's past 4pm on a Friday. I should be excited to get out of here. Unfortunately, I'm going to spend the next hour and a half driving. I hope to use my cunning and years of border experience to avoid the afternoon line ups. Oh wait. It's no longer the crowds that are the problem. It's the construction. For those of you attempting to drive northbound into Western Canada, this is your warning.

Winter hibernation formula

Take the following fact:

Sudden drop in temperatures = Maxie breaks out in (literally!) hives

and postulate the following hypothesis:

Maxie with Hives = Maxie on Zyrtec

Maxie on Zyrtec = Zombie Maxie

Zombie Maxie = No booze

because

Zombie Maxie + Booze = Blackouts

Concludes that:

A.) Pills and booze be taken to fast forward the duration of fall and winter.
B.) Maxie should grow a layer of fur so as to adapt to winter conditions.
C.) Snowbirds have got it made! I want a summer home in Brazil.

The Fall Forecast

As I've been dreading, the temps are slowly getting lower day by day. Case in point, it was warm and clear at 8am and now it is foggy and cold at 12:30pm! I've accepted it as part and parcel of living by the bay. But it sure makes me miss the hot, lazy afternoons enjoying the summer breeze in a hammock at the ole' Soledad Street compound - in the Philippines, not some cocaina farm in Bogota. (Hmm... I wonder if it would up my street cred if I told people I once lived in a compound? HAHA!)

For the next 8 months, open toed shoes are going to be on the endangered species list. Well, maybe only for me. My tropical-lovin' self suffers from acute Frozen Toe Syndrome if it's 60 degrees or lower. It's a good thing layering is in style and tights no longer come in your basic opaque black. Although it's not a bad look, opaque tights just make me think of nuns. We all know my evil self is certainly not worthy of donning that habit!

Activities are moving indoors as well. Monday Night Football has started. So you guys will find me at the House of Dailey most Mondays. Indoor volleyball should be gearing up pretty soon. Last year's womens team is still solid. I know we will play great again this year. I defected from my old coed team because Rob has put together a great mix of people this year - skill and personality wise! It's not necessarily reflected by our team name which is DWA - Diggers With Attitude (and not Driving While Asian for you donkey orifices out there!) We are a very nice bunch who just happen to enjoy a good ball slapping session or two. ;) I can't wait to play outside hitter again! No more being relegated to the middle just because the guys in my team don't know how to play the position.

I suppose the most exciting news of all is that on Monday, I mailed out what will hopefully be the very last packet of documents to the visa processing center. So in a few weeks, we should find out whether the Tsuman and I are Montreal-bound or not this fall. So if any of you have been to Eastern Canada (EH?) before and have suggestions for restaurants and things to do while we're not watching paint dry at the US Consulate, please send them my way!

Full time job possibility?

Girlfriends JJ, Lisa Lisa and I went to Le Chat Noir after work last night to play tour guides to a new addition to the HR department. They had just hired this petite, mildly obnoxious, nicotine addict of a gal, dressed in skanky office clothes straight from the fall Bebe collection. It was a perfect night for a enjoying the bay and a bottle of Shiraz, some fondue, steamed clams, skewered shrimp and (then there's JJ's juvenile tastebuds) pita bread and salsa. We were joined by JJ's coworker/frenemy, who was actually tolerable. I should know, I sat between the two of them and played buffer. The best part is that I get to do it all over again tonight. Maybe I should start billing my hours as party guest extraordinaire? The jury's out on whether I like this new gal or not. But with summer dying down, I'm happy to have something to do than lament the end of outdoor ball season.

Today is the Heimerenator's birthday. But since he's off to soccer after work, and the rest of the P3 gang are busy, the celebration is going to have to be next week. In the meantime, there are a million last minute things to do before the Tsu-man and I head to Ocean Shores for a wedding this weekend. Hopefully, having tomorrow off will give me some time to take care of the deets. Ugh. It is true what they say, a woman's work is never done.

Girlfriend in a coma

This week is a two day work week. It wasn't necessarily planned that way. But a bout of "illness" on Sunday and Monday made us miss the last ferry back to the mainland. (Dizzy spells and double duty does not make good passengers.) But no matter, I was going to take every second away from work wherever I can get it from.

I went to court for a parking ticket on Friday. As with everyone who walks in there, I started out with the confidence of a trapeze artist. A few minutes into Judge Smiley's schpiel was enough to put the war freak in me back in it's corner. When it came time, I stood in front of him and mustered the bravado to present my case in as few sentences as possible. I was sent home with a reduced fine (still enough for a pair of jeans, God damn them!) and the threat of mandatory community service if I am ever caught parked at a handicap spot again. HA! Kiss my brown ass, I say.

The rest of the weekend was spent on Vancouver Island. We visited some friends in Victoria. I picked up the second Belle de Jour book. We hiked up Mount Douglas. We saw Clerks II (yet again) and ate vegetarian. It made for a relaxing visit and a most satisfying lunch of sushi once we got back to the mainland. I am definitely an omnivore.

And so with heavy heart, I am back to work - and blogging. Proving once again that there is a serious possibility I could be happy as a kept woman.