Should I Be Embarrassed?

Probably! Here is a sample of the craziness that went on Saturday night. Bad wigs, endless booze, beer pong, air hockey, fooz and karaoke? The memories make me want to hide under the covers in shame and yet.. here they are.

Who Loves Halloween?

I do! I do! Having survived the infamous Creech party, I am now setting my sights on what the 'Ham has to offer for Halloween. So far, most of the responses I've gotten are the paltry, stay at home and hand candy out plans. NOOOOO! This may not be West Hollywood or NYC, but by golly, there must still be some people in this college town that know how to party! WTF?!

EDIT 10/30/07:
Madame Butterfly gets to party after all!

Tell me again why girls prefer to stay in and paint eachother's nails?

I'm done waiting for America to catch up to the French. Wine with lunch on a workday may be a no-no here. (Only if you get caught, is what I say!) But today, I accidentally found a way to beat the system. A slice of tiramisu made with potent rum & frangelico mixed into the espresso. Sweet, creamy and a buzz-addict's heaven. Mmm... What a perfect way to start a Friday afternoon. I'm finishing it off with steaks and poker this evening. Granted I'll probably donate to the D$ poker winnings fund but by then, I'll probably be extra happy since I'd have consumed most of a good bottle of pinot noir that I've been saving for such an occassion. La Crema Pinot Noir. Not your big name Burgundy or Bordeaux. But I'm a big fan of an undervalued, highly rated wine. Steaks, wine and poker with some of my favorite boys. A girl can't ask for more.

Lumpia, rice, tabouleh and tiramisu

Tonight, the Tsu-man and I are visiting Der Heimerenator at his new abode. While the two of them get busy with routers, Xbox games and plasma gawking, I shall be cooking dinner. Although I usually take into consideration the other diners' wants and likes, tonight will be all about me. And people thought Oscar the Grouch ate weird food combinations. ha!

Midweek Suburban Parties Are. So. Not. For. Me.

Lord help me, the UBFF is getting hitched!

Months of successful avoidance resulted in one of the most sacred of BFF activities - a Partylite candle party. I arrived late with the hopes that I would find an inconspicuous corner to perch at. But from the greeting at the hallway, to the fawning over pouring me a glass of wine, I knew there was no escape. I would have to play along.

"Oh you haven't seen my ring yet! Isn't it gorgeous?"
"It's beautiful. He did a good job."
"Yes, it's two carats! There's even a diamond underneath my big diamond!"
"Lovely!"

Yes, the ring is two carats TOTAL WEIGHT. The rock itself is a modest .6-.7 of a carat. I'm Flip, these things are intrinsic. (and of the utmost importance when reporting back to other friends who have sent me to the Lion's Den, right Rupinder?)

Her co-workers, gym instructor (who she claims will whittle her down to a size 8-10), neighbors, neighbor's annoying drunk sister, volleyball friends (that's where I was one of two) and some random lady (who promptly responded that she should go more for a 10-12 and not an 8-10 since it will be next to impossible coming from the size 14 that she is now) were in attendance.

As candle parties go, hers was a successful one with $800 in sales. I know what you're thinking. Jesus, all that money for candles that will get burnt? Why not appropriate it for starving children instead? I spent because it's the politics of friendship. The neighbors spent because they we're keeping up with the Joneses. The co-workers spent because they had never been to a Partylite party before. Diplomats. Competitors. Virgins.

The invitation said 6:30 - 10pm and by golly, she meant to have me stay until the end. Once the room started clearing up, the bridal magazines came out.

"Are you free on November 10th?"
"Ah sorry, it's the Tsu-man's birthday"
"Damn! There is a trunk show in La Conner that day!"
"Oh maybe K can go with you?"
"Yeah, but I want you there. We have to go to the Demetrios shop in Bellevue. I need to order my dress now if we're having the wedding in April!"
"Yeah, dresses take months. So you've set the date? I just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of going to China next year, possibly around that time."
"Okay but don't go in April. Come to Costa Rica instead. If not there, then the Carribean."
"I'll have to check."
"December first! Let's go then! We can go to Elaine's first and then Demetrios in the afternoon. And we can go to PF Chang's for lunch!" (Size 8-10, riiiight.)

The Neighbor's Annoying Drunk Sister pipes up with, "Have you found a dress? You should try all the styles because I guarantee! I GUARANTEE YOU! YOU WILL WANT A DRESS THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT WHEN YOU WALKED IN THAT STORE! EVERYBODY DOES THAT!"

And that was when I had enough. "No, not me. I walked in there knowing I wanted a mermaid cut dress and I got me a mermaid cut dress."
NADS (quite the fitting nickname as I seriously wanted to kick her like I would kick a man in the crotch) goes, "Well, did you have fun at your wedding? Cause when I tried a mermaid dress on, I felt like my knees were pasted together."
"You bet I did and I wore my mermaid dress the whole night!"
"Well my husband would never have gone for it. When he walks, I have to keep up."

And this is why your stay at home, new mom self is sloshed out of your mind at a fucking candle party on a Tuesday evening. Go tell your overbearing husband off and then get a life!

Lord help me, the UBFF is getting hitched - and these are the kind of people invited!

Optimism was never my strong point but here goes...

A few signs that I have finally beat the flu:


I'm on top of my game at work. I came in thirty minutes late. I have since proceeded to ice my white mocha (neglecting the espresso machine for the past week meant this morning I had to clean, put fresh water, grind beans.. no excuse but it did contribute to the tardiness), respond to emails, read an article on how to deal with co-workers who may be from the WWII or Baby Boomer Generation (to which I reply, mandatory retirement is the answer) and blog. Another day of doing jack shit? I'll drink to that!

The rice craving is back and I'm giving in. I indulged and made a pot of creamy, spicy, salty, sweet Portuguese chicken curry to go with freshly steamed rice. This, coupled with a serving of Law & Order: SVU? It was all I could do not to moan from pleasure. (and Rice Power didn't fail me at my late evening, womens' practice last night. Then again, it never does.)

It's a fabulous hair day. Rockin' the mild beehive ponytail with a demure little headband. Straight out of a friggin' wedding hair catalog, much? I know it's trivial. But somedays, there isn't a whole hell of a lot to get excited about around here... except perhaps how to do your hair and what color lipstick to wear.

Going costume hunting with gusto. The Tsu-man and I are going as Lois & Peter Griffin to the Creech annual on Saturday. I'll be running around town tonight trying to find an orange wig, a Stewie doll, red hair spray, green pants and round, black frames.


That said, although October almost always marks the beginning of long, cold winter nights for me, I am feeling really good about this year. There will actually be a truth to my answers everytime I reply to the requisite inquiring niceties with, "I'm great! Just keeping busy, the usual stuff." Now if I can just manage to escape somewhere south of the equator sometime in the next few months, I'll even accept being called spoiled.

I've Become A Mouth Breather By No Choice Of My Own

I've been down for the count past week. Extreme fatigue, fever, cough, cold, sore throat, aches and pains. All symptoms of the flu or, what we call in my native Filipino dialect as, "trankaso." I've always wondered why we called it that. So etymologically, do I have a case of the trannies? If only that were so. The skin around my nose is raw - and I didn't even have the high that normally comes with snuffing! On a lighter note, maybe a week long diet of miso soup will work wonders on my bilbil.

Girlfriend better go back to hacking up a lung now.

Stress Eating Comes Naturally

You guys are the best. My bum self runs out of things to talk about and yet, you still come and wish me well. My laziness was brought on by the continued frustration with the job sitch. But a slim chance of a job change was enough to revive the Over Sharing Queen’s French manicured fingers into a typing frenzy.

What I did during the blogging hiatus:

• Spent an early Canadian Thanksgiving with the fam. Eddie Baby (aka Iron Chef Tsui) outdid himself again with the spread. Crustaceans and eggs. Baked and broiled poultry. Wok stirred four-legged grass eaters. Flash sauteed, scaled water dwellers. Shiitake mushrooms in oyster sauce, yams and Caesar salad. After the main course, we had to make room for the strawberry and peach trifle that I made. It accompanied the mango pudding (it’s still not as good as the mangoes from back home but it’ll do.) and the pumpkin cheese torte and Kona coffee perfectly.
• Watched a lot of Dexter and Weeds while alternating between white chocolate brownies and popcorn. I also threw in some rice crackers and hummus since I was trying to cancel out the unhealthiness of the previous two.
• Ate a lot of sushi and dim sum. Rice and soy sauce trumps mac n’ cheese as comfort food any day. Plus, its so much more fun to see your ankles get bloated from the sodium overdose. Luckily, the salt hasn’t quite caught up with me yet.
• Resuscitated the increasingly lethargic muscles in my gluteus maximus, by going back to my twice a week volleyball schedule. Sometimes, we got lucky enough to play on Saturday nights too. Now if I can just get motivated to go back to the gym.
• Tsu-man and I spent $50+ bucks on frigging coffee and tea drink supplies. Kahlua lattes. Ghirardelli white or dark chocolate mochas. Spiced or vanilla chai tea lattes. All in your choice of fat free, soy, or rice milk and with matching to go cups if you prefer it iced. What a couple of coffee crazeees we are. But now I can pour you a latte with an artsy heart! Ha!
• Polished up the ol’ CV (with Mama D's awesome editing) and applied for another position within the company. It will still be in the area of compliance and not under the Hag’s domain. Oh wait; it can’t be under her domain because the new position will be doing responsibilities she has been stripped of – without her knowledge. So although I would like to gloat to you all about how she reacted when I informed her about the new opening, I will for now keep you in the dark. But I promise to discuss the matter in detail once I have heard more certain news.
• I lurked. And lurked. And lurked some more. I apologize for not writing back on all the lovely comments. I had a two-week long pity party / bad case of I-had-nothing-nice-to-say. None of which was brought about by y’all. Sometimes, even the toughest of us bitches just needs a break, I guess.

The Procastinator's Rule 1.1

When faced with a work deadline - go shopping.

Bereavement leave is in corporate policies for a reason! I shall be away from this Brown Building of Doom for five whole days. I busted my ass all day yesterday and most of today to get some of my work done. But the remaining seventeen case files I need to review are going to have to sit tight until I come back on Monday. This serves two purposes: make the Hag sweat a little by thinking it's not going to get done in time and, it frees up my time to go shoe shopping online.

Indoor volleyball starts next week. Due to my lame flat feet, I'm going to have to find a shoe that has built in arch support. Asics seems to be a popular favorite but I'd rather wait for my resident Nike connoisseur, Rupinder, to give me his recommendations.

The time to don the spandex is nearing. Must check out Lululemon's new shorts asap. But this makes me think of the other Canadian store that I absolutely have to set foot in everytime I am in VanCity. M.A.C. They have been teasing me for weeks that the holiday palettes should be coming out pretty soon.

So my next trip to Canada will mean stops at Metrotown for shoes, shorts, girly stuff, boots, sweaters and Asian groceries @ T&T. Damn it. Just like that, my shopping list has exploded into mushroom cloud proportions. And I'm not even thinking about Christmas yet!

What's another one?

I've spent a good part of my life saying my goodbyes to people.

My family falls into the overseas worker / first generation immigrant category. Getting here has required severing ties to family and friends who did not have the opportunity to move with me. Yes, I said sever. I've never been good at maintaining correspondence. So I tend to use the fade away technique. Of course, there have been times when banishment has saved me from having to keep in contact. Some of which I am thankful for. Others I regret to my very core.

Over the years, it's gotten easier to accept that the kind of relationships I have are transitory. I was five when I first heard, "Your parents left you with us to find a better job. So you can have a better life." It would not be the last time I would hear it. The tone eventually changed from explanatory to cautionary to condemnation. As I grew older I realized it was usually followed with, "It's not even my job to have to care for you so don't you dare complain." or "It's a good thing your father is sending money or else you'd be out on the street." Sure, I'll have some rice with that salt, thank you.

I always knew I would have to leave one day. So after years endured with my father's family, I jumped at the chance. I made a deal with the devil herself and moved to Chicago with my mother. (After all, she was the reason my nuclear family disintegrated to having parents in two different continents and nannies to look after the children. As two incomes dwindled to one, the nannies got let go and the children got shipped off to the familial home in the province.)

The day of my excommunication isn't one I've forgotten. It was a day when I said goodbye to so many people. The aunts and uncles who warned me, that forgiveness and acceptance would only be given if I would come crawling back, are not ones I look back on fondly. It broke my heart to have to leave my sisters with them. But that is a geographical gap that has been fixed. The existence of love was never an issue with the three of us. I'd like to think it's the same with my father. But until the man considers communicating, things are at a stale mate.

In the last few years, I have gone through an overhaul of friends. It was easier this time around. I said, "Steel yourself, Woman!", and cut the ties with people I no longer care to be associated with. People I cannot stand to be around. People who hurt me. People I, sometimes sadly, have had to write off. People I relegate to memory, as a loved one who has passed away.

Death is a fact of life. It is a time that regrets surface, apologies are belated and memories are ingrained. But as I learned about my grandmother's impending expiration this weekend, I asked my husband if it was normal that I didn't feel much like crying. Am I supposed to be remorseful that I can't shed a tear for a woman I haven't seen in almost a decade? For someone who didn't even remember me as a granddaughter because of a deteriorating mental capacity? For someone who clearly exercised favoritism between her children and grandchildren? So I was on the sacrificial end of it but the fact of the matter is - I have no regrets or apologies for this woman, and my memories of her are ones I'd rather not keep.

I'm sad. I'm going to do what is expected and send money, say a prayer and comfort my sisters. But this is about all I can muster. Am I cold hearted or just a product of emotional evolution? The times I have put myself out there and proposed a reconcilliation have not amounted to much. I wrote them off by saying that I am simply a bad daughter, friend or person. I'm conflicted with whether or not I should make amends now that I have decided to enjoy and appreciate the relationships I have. But should I really bother?