Line Jumpers WILL Kiss My Ass

I've been crossing the US-Canada border for seven years now and yesterday, I got to do something that's always flashed in my head whenever I see people jump the line. (Confirming yet again the Tsu-man's astute observation that I should NEVER be given a weapon.)

The southbound border crossing currently has three lanes. Two for the regular folks and one that is dedicated as NEXUS ONLY. This means that only people with Nexus cards are allowed to use this lane. There is a signs as Highway 99 ends, signs painted on the cement, a sign as you exit the Duty Free and signs every few feet. Beautiful signs that say, "NEXUS ONLY."

It just so happened that this Pino Van (aptly named as 1.) it was a Toyota and 2.) he had his family and then some packed in there.) was exiting the Duty Free and merging onto the said NEXUS ONLY lane. The rules of the road tell me I should let him merge so I oblige. He inches forward and stops. So I crane my neck and there's nobody in front of him. I tell myself to give him a few minutes because he's got his left turn signal on and is trying to merge into the regular crossing lanes.

And then he did it. He inched forward until he'd moved about five cars length. And stops. Ten minutes later, he moves a couple more feet and does the same thing. The people in the next lane are not letting him through because like good citizens who follow the law, they have been waiting in line for the last hour and they can see that he is trying to jump ahead of the line. So then he just stops there. Until my patience runs out.

I give him a short, little honk. He doesn't move when clearly there is nobody in front of him. I crane my neck out my window and say, "Hey! Buddy! You're not supposed to be in this lane if you don't have a Nexus pass!" He still doesn't move. And I snap. I hammer down on my horn and he finally moves. People are purposely not letting him in now that I've made it (loudly) obvious to everyone else that Mr. Pino Van is trying to cut in front of the line. I ride his ass all the way until some kind soul takes pity on him and allows him to merge. Then I stop right next to him. And I show him one freshly manicured pale pink finger.

Me: "Do you know how to read? This lane is for Nexus card holders only."
Mr. Pino Van: "What the faaaaaaaaaaaaack, man?"
Me: "You're the one who's trying to cut to the front of the line! Fuck you."
Mr. Pino Van: "What the faaaaaaaaaaaaack, man?"
-EDITED-
Mr. Pino Van: "What the faaaaaaaaaaaaack, man?"

Mrs. Pino Van rolls up the window and silences her one liner of a husband. We speed off to the Nexus booth where there are NO CARS AHEAD OF US because the motherfucking Pino Van held up all the Nexus traffic. We scan our cards, have a friendly exchange with the border guard and are on our way.

Yes people, international incidents happen when you get in my way and make my 2 minute border crossing formality into a 45 minute wait. I paid to have the priviledge of using that lane. I paid with cash, I paid with my time, I paid with my privacy. So unless you've done the same thing, fucking get out of the Nexus lane if you don't belong there.

Especially when you're Filipino and you're giving the rest of us a bad rep.